Today was a bad self day, what do I mean by that? Today was a day where I felt bad about myself, I felt down. I felt down about my weight, my hair, my skin, my financial situation. I felt bad about everything that I could feel bad about myself, even the things that are good, that don’t deserve me feeling bad about. So, to make myself feel better, instead of diving further into debt by shopping, or gorging out on foods that aren’t healthy for me and both that I’d later have remorse over later. I came home showered, lotion down cut my hair, painted my toes and did a facial mask. I started feeling instantly better vibing out to groovy music. I felt good about myself and the self-care I was taking, and the self-discipline I was exhibiting. Until I washed the mask off of my face and I saw me again. As I looked in the mirror, I saw the little girl I used to be, who admired the unmarked face of a white facial mask was and even though a pure white face was not normal I preferred it to my acne prone, scarred and hyperpigmented face that I had. In that moment I felt bad about myself again. I felt so unaccomplished so, Unarrived that I here I am 34 years old and still struggling with issues and having the same bad image of myself that I had when I was in middle school.
I have wanted to blog for some several years but was always concerned about not having it together enough to blog and today it hit me I’ll never have it together enough. If I haven’t mastered accepting myself over the past 22 years EVERY DAY I never will. The point is we all have bad self-days; I don’t think there is anyone on earth who has a great self-day every day all day. We all get down on ourselves for reason or another at some point in time.
This blog will be about life, the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between. It will be about my struggles and my successes. It will be about failures and how I overcome and how you can too.
I’m not writing because I’m expert, I’m writing because I’m living, learning, loving and learning to live and love.
My name is Freedomtymes and this my journey to freedom, maybe it can be yours too.